Stress & Child Development
Toxic stress and trauma are not fun social media topics. They gravely disrupt children's development, and we should all collaborate to tackle this serious issue.
The relationship between stress and child development is what really got me into this field. My whole life, I wondered why I was so fucked up, why my family always waited for the next misfortune, and why we lived in anxiety and sorrow. Of course, early experiences would not explain ALL those unfortunate events, but overwhelming evidence from developmental science, public policy, economics, and clinical psychology has enlightened my perspectives. As I wrote before, I am not blaming anyone, but this motivates me to continue the healing journey.
I also love (might not be the optimal word choice, but) this topic as a researcher, because it is where public policy, developmental science, education, community mental health, neuroscience, clinical psychology, and economics all dance together.
The bad news is trauma and stress fuck with our brains and bodies. The good news is that our brain constantly changes and responds to experiences every single day.
Early Experiences Shape Lifelong Physical and Mental Health
Early childhood is a critical period when basic brain architecture is developed. Of course, research on neuroplasticity has informed us that our brains keep changing and that you are not stuck with the brain you have. Our understanding of the baby brain is still limited, but we at least know that it takes much more energy and effort to change your brain in later life than in the early years. That’s why early childhood folks keep emphasizing the investment in early childhood and early prevention efforts.
The video (5 min) from the Center on the Developing Child explains how early childhood experiences affect lifelong health and learning:
Stress and Trauma
I am not a fan of minimizing or disregarding any type of trauma or stress. First of all, every person has a different level of tolerance to stress. Moreover, snubbing these topics could backfire in a decrease in investment in fields like Infant & Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH) or community mental health. But I also do not like seeing trauma as a buzzword or catchword that carelessly travels on TikTok accounts. Trauma refers to a serious event, such as abuse, neglect, natural disasters, or war. A quarrel with your friend, a physical fight among 3-year-olds, or a scary movie is NOT a trauma. Sorry.
3 types of stress: Positive, Tolerable, Toxic
Positive stress is a quintessential stress that promotes resilience and healthy development. Your heart rate increases, and your hormone level elevates, but for a short time. Taking a test, pushing through a hard exercise, starting a new job, or learning a new skill are examples.
Tolerable Stress is serious but still temporary. Supportive and collaborative relationships can mitigate the potential negative impact of such stress.
Toxic stress is prolonged and strong stress. The stress response system constantly and continuously stays activated without adequate support or caring relationships. Examples include abuse, neglect, caregiver’s substance abuse or mental illness, exposure to violence, harsh parenting, and economic adversity.
When toxic stress happens, your brain and body activate a stress response system like releasing hormones and increasing your heart rate and blood pressure to alert your body to get the fuck out of the threat, like a fire alarm. But remember that toxic stress is repeated and prolonged stress? So the alarm in your body doesn’t go off but stays active. That constant active alarm inside your body could damage your physical and mental health and scar your digestive and immune systems, brain development, and other organ development.
4 types of trauma: acute, chronic, intergenerational, complex
Trauma is the emotional or physical impact caused by a high level of toxic stress.
Trauma can be categorized into four types: Acute, Chronic, Historic/Intergenerational, and Complex Trauma (DMH+ UCLA Prevention Center of Excellence).
Acute trauma refers to a one-time, brief traumatic event such as an assault or car accident, natural disaster, or sudden loss of a family member, and can be related to short-term or post-traumatic stress disorder. When the acute trauma is not addressed or treated well, it can progress into chronic trauma. Complex trauma includes acute, chronic, and historical trauma and includes strong and prolonged exposure to the trauma, which could bring about symptoms such as affect dysregulations and dysfunctional relationships.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0-18) (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). It came from a landmark study by Kaiser Permanente in Southern California that found a relationship between ten categories of stressful or traumatic childhood events and lifelong health and well-being.
These are 10 original (Recent discussions in the field suggest that ACEs should also include other items such as racism, poverty, bullying, and discrimination) ACEs. These ACEs look pretty serious, but it turns out that “61% of adults had at least one ACE and 16% had 4 or more types of ACEs (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).”
ACEs are regarded as a serious public health issue. They negatively impact not only your mental health but also lifelong physical health and well-being, such as heart disease, diabetes, asthma, low academic achievement, substance abuse, obesity, and sexually transmitted diseases. The former California Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, has championed ACEs and systematically spread awareness of the importance of preventing ACEs and building positive childhood experiences (PCEs). Now, there are many initiatives nationwide.
Moreover, ACEs can have an intergenerational impact. That is, parents with more ACEs are more likely to have children with higher ACEs (Schickedanz et al., 2021; FYI, if you want to do any ACEs-related interview, Dr. Adam Schickedanz is a super sweet person). But, again, your fate as a parent is never sealed. You can make a difference in your life and your child’s life.
I remember in my graduate class in 2018, shocked to realize I had five ACEs. But it was also a kind of good feeling to know that I was fucked up, not only because I was pure evil, but because my upbringing and early experiences played a role in messing me up. ACEs do not explain everything, but they provide insights into what could be going on in your body that impacts your lifestyle and well-being. Among the potential increased risk for well-being due to ACEs, I could easily check off nine items from the list:
As I wrote in my Baby Brain post, research on epigenetics and developmental science has indicated that early experiences get imprinted in your body. That is, even if “babies don’t remember,” the experiences are engrained in their genes, brains, tissues, and organs. Also, in his book “The Body Keeps The Score,” Dr. Bessel van der Kolk talks about how traumatic experiences leave marks on our minds and bodies.
I had a similar experience in March 2020. I got admissions from several institutions, one of which happened to start with the letter H, the holy fucking grail of a traditional Asian family (aka mine). However, I chose UCLA because I loved its program more than the others, and my partner got a job in the Bay Area. Staying together as a family was the most important goal, especially with our one-year-old.
I told my mom about this news and decision, and of course, she reacted. If I’m a person who pushes limits, my mom is someone who’s already beyond limits. I love her dearly and regard her as one of the insanely strong people. I feel grateful that she made me a high achiever, but to be honest, sometimes it was too much as a kid. It’s complicated.
Anyway, she appealed to me to go to Boston in various ways every day for weeks and told me she would drop everything to come to the U.S. to support me (Thank you, but no thanks). It was way before I started any kind of mindfulness work, so I did not know any emotional regulation tools or stress response strategies to cope with the stress. Although it was one of those mommy-and-me arguments that have been repeated for 30 years, I was really going crazy this time, because we were under lockdown (remember 2020?), my in-laws were getting involved, and my child and spouse were added to the equation. Then I got this weird rash on my skin:
I went to see a doctor, and they said they’d never seen this before and just put me on steroid cream. I did not apply the cream, and it naturally went away in a couple of weeks.
Fast-forward a few years, I heard Gabor Maté linking medicine to stress. He says, “Now what are steroids? They are copies of cortisol. What is cortisol? It is a stress hormone. We are treating everything with stress hormones. Maybe it should occur to us that stress has something to do with the onset of these conditions.” I might be simply speculating everything here, but it feels like too much of a coincidence.
Healthy Relationship Buffers Stress
Early childhood folks strive every day to promote children’s environments, because we know that children’s experiences in their surroundings shape their whole development.
However, it is a harsh reality that stressful or traumatic events are often out of our control. You cannot prevent natural disasters, accidents, violence, or wars. Sometimes, we live in an adverse environment. So what now? Are children from undesirable neighborhoods forever doomed?
Luckily, no.
Children can still thrive despite adversity when they have strong relational support from at least one adult figure. When high stress or trauma occurs, our body and mind spring out of the resilient zone (Miller-Karas, 2015) where we can handle stress and respond in a healthy way (read more here). Then, our body or mind gets into either a hyper-arousal state (e.g., anxiety, panic, rage) or a hypo-arousal state (e.g., depression, numbness). When a child gets into either state, a regulated adult nearby can help bring the child’s state back into the resilient zone by responding in a nurturing and caring way. In fact, the importance of such strong support is one of the key universal findings (there are not many!) in social/developmental science.
A few years ago, I took a class from Dr. Naomi Eisenberger, who studies social psychology and emotion (in a perfect outfit and style every. single. day). In one of her papers, she found evidence that attachment figures (in this study, long-term romantic partners) activate a safety signal in our neural region that could reduce pain experience (the participants were not children, though).
I felt so surprised reading this paper since my seemingly chronic digestive problem, joint pain, and migraine disappeared after I met my spouse. Since I was little, I visited more doctor’s offices than I can remember, went through a number of tests in big hospitals, and took Chinese medicine every year due to my health issues. As a young adult, I always carried a plastic bag of prescribed painkillers. Still, no doctor could figure out what was going on in my body. In that sense, such radical physical change in my body after meeting Eunki was truly remarkable. This study provided good scientific implications for the phenomenon. Again, I do not have my brain images to compare before and after meeting Eunki, so it’s a speculation, but still too much of a coincidence!
Nonetheless, the stress that can be easily buffered is usually positive stress and sometimes tolerable stress. Toxic stress is innately detrimental and needs much more intensive care and support to heal. So let’s not forget that.
So, what can we do?
In sum, positive stress is essential in healthy development and building resiliency, and with strong and proper support, tolerable stress can also be buffered. However, in an optimal scenario, no children should go through toxic stress or trauma, and that’s what a number of people are working on every day everywhere.
There is actually SO MUCH you can do to help your child or other children get through adversity.
Learn Emotional Regulation Tools. Like, nervous system reset tools. Of course, you are enough, and there is a shitload of stuff to do as a parent. However, if you have just 10 minutes a day, try taking a walk, writing a journal, making a healthy snack, calling your friend, exercising (mindfulness exercise or physical exercise), meditating, watering plants, taking a nap, or reading. Only a regulated adult can help a dysregulated child. To provide calm and nurturing support to our children even in dark and stormy times, we must work on regulating ourselves first.
Spread Awareness. Many people think that poverty and unsafe neighborhood only affects children’s socioeconomic status. However, research shows that place matters for whole-child development, from their learning to social-emotional outcomes. Talk to your families and friends about ACEs and support politicians and policymakers who are devoted to resolving neighborhood inequities.
Find Help and Support Organizations. These are national organizations that strive to promote children’s environments and neighborhoods for healthy development. Aces Aware, HealthySteps, Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, Center for the Study of Social Policy, Urban Institute, Children Now, Child Trends, Crisis Prevention Institute, Child Development Institue, National Head Start Association, Children’s Institute, The Build Initiative, Child Mind Institute, Learning Policy Institute, National Child Traumatic Stress Network. The list goes on and on, but if you have any donations in mind or need intensive support, check them out!
I cannot end this post without Fred Rogers’ Lifetime Achievement Award Speech in 1997:
Reflection questions:
What can I do to create more space in my mind and provide empathy when my child is having a hard time with big feelings?
What are some stresses that I can bust? What stresses are out of control? How can I boost my stress management strategies and chisel emotional regulation tools?
I hope the love in me lights up the love in every one of you,
Seoyeon